When I think back to my 20's, I don't know how to describe my emotions about it. I don't miss it, that's for sure. I made a lot of mistakes in my 20's that I don't necessarily regret, but I kind of do. I didn't even like my 20's. Shit, I don't think I liked my 30's much either. In your 20's you don't know anything. Sorry kids, you don't. In your 30's you make plans for the future; kids, homes, careers. 30's you are tested on life's limits. You lose people and your mind. I do believe at 30 you discover who you are and what you will tolerate in life. That was a break-through in that decade for me, personally. I always had a no nonsense, easy breezy, attitude. I was always told at 40 you just don't care about offending people, about their feelings and you are the most important person in your life. I am here to tell you, it is true. I thought I didn't care before? Pffffft.
I am 41 and proud. This comes with a whole other list of shit to worry about. Health, retirement, exhaustion just to name a few. You think I care if someone doesn't like me? HA! I am trying to buy a summer home in Florida, for Christ sake! I am too busy trying to renovate our house and prepare for retirement than give a rats ass about hurting someones little feelers. If you don't sign my paycheck, then I don't have time to care about what's bothering you. This is the blessing at the 40 mark. Around the 32nd year of my existence, an older gentleman told me "at the end of the day, it's all bullshit anyway" and that resonated with me. What pisses you off this morning, will not matter tonight. What makes you sad tomorrow, won't matter by the time you wake up on Friday. You chose to "get over it". That carried me through my 30's and now into my 40's. The only things that matter to me are: family, friends, work and feeling good. I feed my soul everyday with laughter. The famous Hunter S. Thompson quote about life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, yada yada yada ... is somewhat true. I just don't want to arrive totally worn out and way too early. After losing a good handful of friends in my 30's, I lived it up. I really took that quote literally and now, I am ok with arriving with meh, maybe a run in my nylons. I don't need to indulge. I'm good for the most part.
I won't be able to share my life stories with kids and grandkids so that kinda bums me out but I will relish in them for years to come. I have a lot of fun. I have loved and lost. I have such delicious stories that when I think about them, my heart smiles. Everything I have done in my past was just so unconventional and ass backwards. Just the way I lost my virginity was ridiculous (sorry ma) but I love it. I love what I have been through because I am who I am in spite of it. I've been cheated on, lied to, made a fool of, I've been fired, I've been kicked out of school, I've been broke and I have had enough jobs that I have lost count. But here I am: successful, married, in love with life and I am A-OK.
I think I felt the need to write this one on the heels of learning of a recent suicide of someone that I knew. We all go through tough times. I think the first half of my marriage was spent in an untreated depression regarding the fact that I am unable to have kids. It was/is a depressing fact but after 13 years of living with that truth, I have learned to count my blessings. I couldn't imagine having to raise a kid in this world. Hearing that I would never have kids, felt like a death sentence. It made me feel like less of a woman. There is a bit of truth I rarely say. Everyone is dealing with something. I am regretful that the last time I saw this guy, I was unforgivably mean, but in my defense he wasn't nice to me, either or ever. But I am sorry. I am sorry that your life was unbearable. I am sorry that your sadness came through in anger. You have always had a chip on your shoulder and now this explains it. I hope you are at peace. I hope you are at home with your parents, finally. You were a handsome guy and I am just sorry that this world was too much for you to take.
So the moral of the story is, 40 is pretty great! I like it. Just waiting patiently for that midlife crisis to kick in and really see where this shit takes me! Oh yea, and be kind. Well, be kind enough but never let someone shit all over you.
Love you all and always!
Your OLD friend,
Jen
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Friday, February 1, 2019
What a time to be alive.
Have you looked at news stories lately? Have you been on Twitter? Let me touch on a few things here, without any outline whatsoever. The current state of affairs really makes me scratch my head and wonder WTF is going on in the world!
First, I am obsessed with this Empire cast member and this tale of "MAGA Country" in Chicago. Have you heard of Chicago? The sanctuary city that has been democratic since, oh I don't know...THE DAWN OF TIME? -17 below out and 2 guys walking with a jug of bleach and a noose, not 1 eye witness. I can't with this nonsense. "They poured something on me that was later determined as bleach" What gave you that inclination? One look at your clothes within seconds could have ended that struggle. You want to yell from the rooftops "HATE CRIME!" but when the cops arrive you ask them to turn off their body cams and won't hand over your phone. Don't worry, genius! They'll just subpoena your phone company and get your call log. You'd think you'd want to help in any way to find these guys. I really hope the truth comes out about this and they fucking nail this guy. I hate LIARS. And if it is in fact a hate crime, then I hope they find the dipshits that did it and throw the book at em!
Now, we got this big oaf in LA that punches the two chicks in line for a hot dog. Witnesses say the girls started and were throwing fisticuffs first. When did we just stop minding our own business? The guy was taking too long so now you're Wonder Woman? He's 6'3 and like 270! At no point can you take this guy! Stop trying to be EQUAL! WE ARE NOT! I am not. I NEED a man to protect me. I'll tango with a broad anytime, anywhere. But if I am poking a bear, I hope he would crack my jaw because guess what? I deserve it. That isn't toxic masculinity. You want to be treated as equal, then you get treated as an equal. There aren't caveats to that demand. I'd never fight with a man and think he will not swing back. Same with the man protecting his wife and kid. Girl comes up swinging and off to sleep she went. You have this gang mentality with these kids these days. You want to square up with someone; man, woman or beast, then you get to deal with consequences. No one is being held accountable for shit these days! Quit ignoring your children! Teach them how to be civil human beings and chances are a 40yr man won't need to do it for you by laying a combo off their chin. I don't condone abuse but give me a break already. A punch is a punch. And what is this "toxic masculinity"? Now men are being neutered. I want a Marlboro man not some skinny jean wearing, Harry Styles type bitch. Stop feeding your kids soy, people!
Pedophilia on Twitter. Yep, that's correct. Pedophiles run rampant on Twitter. I believe they're called MAPs. They look but don't touch and it is A-OK on this social media platform. So these predators can scroll and look for children, look at YOUR children and Jack Dorsey doesn't ban them. Amazing, right? They ban Roger Stone, Laura Loomer, Gavin McGinnis, Owen Benjamin and a slew of other "Conservatives" but allow for pedophiles to prey. We are now OK with this. Don't be shocked when they lower the age of consent to 12. They have already over sexualized EVERYTHING! They have children posing in magazines dressed inappropriately, making it B Porn for these sick fucks. How is this OK? How is this not a national outrage? We will stomp our feet at ORANGE MAN BAD but not a word about kid f**kers all over the internet! If there is something that enrages me, this is it. I'd fight a pedophile all day and twice on Sunday. We should be a pissed off Nation about that. But again, not a peep.
Now we want to kill a full term baby. I am not even going there because that is the work of the devil and I don't want that vile shit taking over my brain. So I will leave you with a tweet from Matt Walsh:
Don't come at me with your pitchforks. I am entitled to my opinions too.
Love you all and always!
Your Friend,
Jen
First, I am obsessed with this Empire cast member and this tale of "MAGA Country" in Chicago. Have you heard of Chicago? The sanctuary city that has been democratic since, oh I don't know...THE DAWN OF TIME? -17 below out and 2 guys walking with a jug of bleach and a noose, not 1 eye witness. I can't with this nonsense. "They poured something on me that was later determined as bleach" What gave you that inclination? One look at your clothes within seconds could have ended that struggle. You want to yell from the rooftops "HATE CRIME!" but when the cops arrive you ask them to turn off their body cams and won't hand over your phone. Don't worry, genius! They'll just subpoena your phone company and get your call log. You'd think you'd want to help in any way to find these guys. I really hope the truth comes out about this and they fucking nail this guy. I hate LIARS. And if it is in fact a hate crime, then I hope they find the dipshits that did it and throw the book at em!
Now, we got this big oaf in LA that punches the two chicks in line for a hot dog. Witnesses say the girls started and were throwing fisticuffs first. When did we just stop minding our own business? The guy was taking too long so now you're Wonder Woman? He's 6'3 and like 270! At no point can you take this guy! Stop trying to be EQUAL! WE ARE NOT! I am not. I NEED a man to protect me. I'll tango with a broad anytime, anywhere. But if I am poking a bear, I hope he would crack my jaw because guess what? I deserve it. That isn't toxic masculinity. You want to be treated as equal, then you get treated as an equal. There aren't caveats to that demand. I'd never fight with a man and think he will not swing back. Same with the man protecting his wife and kid. Girl comes up swinging and off to sleep she went. You have this gang mentality with these kids these days. You want to square up with someone; man, woman or beast, then you get to deal with consequences. No one is being held accountable for shit these days! Quit ignoring your children! Teach them how to be civil human beings and chances are a 40yr man won't need to do it for you by laying a combo off their chin. I don't condone abuse but give me a break already. A punch is a punch. And what is this "toxic masculinity"? Now men are being neutered. I want a Marlboro man not some skinny jean wearing, Harry Styles type bitch. Stop feeding your kids soy, people!
Pedophilia on Twitter. Yep, that's correct. Pedophiles run rampant on Twitter. I believe they're called MAPs. They look but don't touch and it is A-OK on this social media platform. So these predators can scroll and look for children, look at YOUR children and Jack Dorsey doesn't ban them. Amazing, right? They ban Roger Stone, Laura Loomer, Gavin McGinnis, Owen Benjamin and a slew of other "Conservatives" but allow for pedophiles to prey. We are now OK with this. Don't be shocked when they lower the age of consent to 12. They have already over sexualized EVERYTHING! They have children posing in magazines dressed inappropriately, making it B Porn for these sick fucks. How is this OK? How is this not a national outrage? We will stomp our feet at ORANGE MAN BAD but not a word about kid f**kers all over the internet! If there is something that enrages me, this is it. I'd fight a pedophile all day and twice on Sunday. We should be a pissed off Nation about that. But again, not a peep.
Now we want to kill a full term baby. I am not even going there because that is the work of the devil and I don't want that vile shit taking over my brain. So I will leave you with a tweet from Matt Walsh:
Don't come at me with your pitchforks. I am entitled to my opinions too.
Love you all and always!
Your Friend,
Jen
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